How to Catch a Fox
by Mossnose
Summary: It's April Fool's Day and Naruto has finally gone too far! His teammates want to stop him and finally get some peace, but how do you prank the prank master?


A/N: Happy April Fool's Day, everyone! I decided to write this story in celebration.

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

**How to Catch a Fox**

"NARUTO!!!"

Laughter echoed all across the Hidden Leaf Village as Naruto Uzumaki ran as fast as he could. A blur of pink chased after him, evidently furious. Water was dripping onto the ground as the two ran. Obviously, one of them had gotten wet somehow. Ino watched, amused, as the two ran past the flower shop.

"Hey, Sakura! What did he do this time?" she called. Everyone knew that April Fool's Day was Naruto's favourite holiday, so they all kept their guard up, hoping he wouldn't get them. He usually only picked five victims a year, just to be safe. The pink blur stopped and turned on her, furious.

"I'M NOT SAKURA!"

"Sasuke?! What did he do?!"

Sasuke sighed, embarrassed at his current situation. "He switched my shampoo with pink hair dye when I was taking a shower this morning. Not only that, but he raided my closet and switched all of my clothes with the outfits Sakura wears. It was either this, a towel or nothing at all, so I picked the lesser of three evils. Do you know how many people have mistaken me for Sakura today?!" Clearly, he was upset. "29, including you!"

"Stupid Naruto! Last year he cut my hair while I was asleep. It took months to grow back! Well, if you hurry, you might be able to catch him. Hit him once for me!" she encouraged.

* * *

"NARUTO!!!"

_He's already gotten his second victim._ He was right. He spotted Naruto again, dashing from rooftop to rooftop, cackling up a storm. Right behind him, trying to keep up, was a heavily pissed-off Sakura.

"What did he do?" he asked as soon as he caught up.

"Well, he told me that you wanted to see me for something private, and I fell for it. He tricked me into a closet and kissed me on the lips while the lights were out. I bought it for a while until I smelt ramen on his breath. I'll kill him when I catch him!" the enraged pink-haired girl fumed. "So, why do you look like me?"

"Naruto," he sighed.

"Well, this means he's only going to strike three more times. I hope we can catch him before then; I don't want anyone else sharing our fate."

"NARUTO!!!"

"Too late."

* * *

This was better than Naruto could have ever dreamed! He humiliated Sasuke, kissed Sakura, and got Sai during an afternoon nap with the warm water gag! It was always the most fun to prank the newbies! The normally-emotionless boy was currently joining the pursuit party, furious. Now he _knew_ he was doing a great job!

* * *

"I'm going to kill that kid!" Sai hissed. Sakura was slightly amused; she'd never seen him angry before, and especially not this angry.

"I was his first victim, so I get the first shot!" Sasuke argued.

"Well, that's three pranks. He only does about five every year on April 1st. We were just the unlucky victims of this year. That means there's going to be two more," Sakura explained to Sai, who was still learning.

"Why wasn't I warned if you knew this was going to happen?"

"Well, you were basically a scapegoat. Everyone knows that Naruto likes to prank people he's never gotten before most off all, so if we didn't tell you, we'd have a confirmation that he'd get you. This way, we had one less prank to worry about. I guess it backfired on us," she sighed.

"NARUTO!!!"

"Oh, he did not just prank who I think he pranked…"

* * *

Oh, this was just too good! Itachi had been right there, apparently up to something. Why shouldn't he get his just desserts for everything that had happened because of him? Naruto had managed to get right up close, feigning injury, then swiped his precious hair tie and necklace and ran off. Now, Itachi had joined the chase. Everything was going according to plan. Just one more prank, and then he'd hide somewhere until everyone had calmed down.

* * *

"I can't believe you fell for it! Then again, you haven't been here for nine years, so you probably forgot about this, but still-"

"Oh, shut up! I'm too angry to deal with you, stupid little brother!" Itachi was definitely beyond angry. Sasuke flinched; he'd never seen his brother this upset before.

"You know," Sai started with his fake smile, always the one to make a situation like this one worse, "with your hair loose like that, you almost look like a woman!"

"I don't need to hear that from someone who still pees his pants!" he snapped. Sasuke shook his head; Naruto could make even the most composed person lose his temper.

"That was Naruto's fault!" Sai shot back.

"Who do you think will be his last victim?" Sakura asked, trying to break the tension.

"NARUTO!!!"

"Looks like it was Kakashi. Wonder what he did?"

"Probably something mask-related. You know how he's always wanted to see what he looks like without it on," Sakura suggested.

"Hey, you have, too," Sasuke cut in.

"Well, so have you!"

"Face it," Itachi interrupted, "Everyone wants to see that. It's one of the great mysteries of the shinobi lands. Even I want to see," he admitted.

Kakashi caught up to them, hiding his face with his hands. _Damn it! _All four of them had been looking forward to it. "What happened?" he asked.

"He messed with Sasuke's wardrobe while he was in the shower, kissed me in a dark closet, made Sai pee his pants, and made Itachi look like a woman," Sakura explained.

"I don't look like a woman!"

"Ignoring him, what did he do?" Sasuke asked.

"He stole all of the masks I had, saw my face, and took a picture. All I have left is the one I save for emergencies." He removed his hands, revealing a floral-print mask.

"Well, when I get a hold of that stupid fox-brat, he's going to wish he'd never been born," Sasuke threatened darkly.

"I agree. His pranks have gone on long enough. We shouldn't have to live in fear of this one day!" Sakura agreed.

"Can't you just prank him back?" Sai suggested.

"Don't you think people have tried that? Naruto is the master of all pranks. He's pranked so many of us over the years, but no one has ever pranked him back. He may be dull when it comes to traps, but if it's prank-related, he can smell it a mile away," Sakura informed.

"There's one major difference; when trying to trap him, you never had my help. If you agree to work with me, we'll trap that crafty fox and make him pay," Itachi proposed.

* * *

Perfect! He'd gotten his five victims for the year. Now he just had to hide and wait until they calmed down and stopped chasing him. Maybe he'd post the picture he'd gotten of Kakashi's face on the Internet so everyone would see it! Finally, a great mystery solved!

**Nice work, kit! Ah, I just love April Fool's Day!**

_I know. It's the nature of a fox to play tricks on people. It's hard to believe, but we have something in common! Just wait until next year! It's gonna be even better! Believe it!_

**I wish you'd stop saying that. It's annoying.**

_Yeah, yeah, I've heard it all before, dumb fox._

**Hmm? Keep your eyes peeled, kit. Someone's trying to prank you back; I can sense it.**

_Little do they know that thanks to you, I've been able to avoid all attempts at payback! I'll admit, for the first years when I started, I though you were just my conscience warning me. Just how wrong was I?_

**Very wrong. Just be careful.**

_Got it._

* * *

"Okay, is everything in position?"

"Yep. Will this be enough?"

"Plenty. Okay, Sakura, did you get what we needed?"

"Got it right here. One dose of this should be enough."

"Okay, everyone, get into position. Today is the day we get our vengeance."

* * *

It was quiet. Too quiet. Naruto knew that someone was up to something, but he didn't know exactly who or what. He was keeping his guard up, but nothing was happening yet. Suddenly, a few bone-chilling screams filled the air. He knew those voices: his teammates!

**Wait, it could be a trap!**

_I can't take that chance! I have to know what happened!_

**Well, don't blame me if you get caught.**

His heart raced as he hurried to the spot. There was red all over the walls and ground. His teammates had fallen and weren't moving at all. And right in the middle of this scene was Itachi, a bloody kunai in his hand. He hurried and checked their pulses one by one, but he couldn't feel a thing.

"What have you done?!" he snapped, fury evident in his eyes.

"They kept saying that because of your prank, I looked like a woman. I couldn't take it anymore and decided to kill them," he said evenly.

**He's bluffing. Don't listen to him!**

"You even killed your own little brother… How can you be so heartless?! I'm going to tear you limb from limb!" He'd completely lost it, red chakra swirling around him. Itachi just looked as indifferent as ever. He let the kunai slip, and as soon as it hit the ground, something got Naruto right in the back of the head. Just before he passed out…

**I told you so.**

_Oh, shut up._

* * *

When he finally came too, the first thing he noticed was that he couldn't move. He'd been bound completely, from his wrists to his ankles. He struggled to get loose, but he couldn't even budge the ropes.

"Well, well, well. A little tied up now, aren't you," someone laughed mockingly. To his surprise, not only did Itachi approach him, but so did his supposed victims of slaughter.

"But… I don't get it."

"We've gotten sick and tired of your dumb pranks. So Itachi came up with a plan for us to teach you a lesson," Sakura told him.

"We just covered the ground with ketchup to make it look like we'd been killed. Then we took some pills that Sakura begged Tsunade to give her, that would put us in death-comas for a while. We took just enough to knock us out for a minute, then got you from behind," Sasuke further explained.

"And now, you're going to be punished for your pranks," Kakashi informed coldly.

"Bring it on; I can take it!" Naruto challenged, still trying to get loose.

"Well, he says he can take it. What do all of you think?" Itachi asked. "By the way, we took the liberty of finding everyone you've ever pranked that's still alive. Do you still think you can handle it?"

Naruto shrunk under the gaze of almost 100 other people. "Oh, crap."

**This next scene is far too graphic for anyone to view, hear about, or even read about. As a result, we will skip to the aftermath.**

"Ow ow ow ow ow," Naruto whined. He had been beaten to an inch of his life, then Tsunade and Sakura saved him, and he was beat and saved again. This process continued about 20 times. So as you can imagine, he was in a lot of pain, and the medics were too tired to do much else.

"Well? Did you learn your lesson?" Kakashi asked.

"Yeah," Naruto sighed. "Never prank Itachi, because he is the only one who can prank me back. I acknowledge you as a worthy opponent, Itachi."

"Hn."

"Not quite what I had in mind…"

* * *

A/N: I know it's not very good, but it was stuck in my head and I just had to write it!


End file.
